I hope that I am not the only person that is more than a little ashamed at the thought of this topic. I mean, seriously… On a daily basis, do you know how many people search the phrase, “How To Be A Man”? Too damn many, that’s how many! If you want to know how to be a man, it’s easy… Grow a beard and go fight bears. If you’re incapable of growing a real beard and can only grow a shadow like that one friend during No Shave November, you can still be a man. Try heading out to the garage and taking stuff apart. When you put it back together and have pieces left over… Rest assured that you’ve made some drastic improvements and that the original design must have been flawed!
1. How to drink at the beach: Well, I guess there’s more than one way to skin a cat. I’ll tell you this much… Before I waste the time reverse engineering an aluminum can so that I can mask a beer at the beach, I’m going to drop a pint of Kentucky’s finest into a Double Big Gulp sized Coke Slurpee! But that’s just how I roll!
2. Bacon cakes: I don’t know whether the official term is bacon cakes, or bacon corn dogs. Personally, I don’t care what you call this battery bacon bliss. I’m just going to call them delicious!
3. Collar iron: If you have one of these in your house and no women live with you, I’ve got a special task for you. Turn that little iron thingy on high, stick your tongue between the plates and squeeze until you pass out. When you wake up, turn in your mancard and hang your head in shame.
4. Drilling dust: Here’s another one that screams that your woman has got you by the man pieces. If you have post-it’s in your house… Seriously, WTF? If you’re that concerned with getting a little dust on the rug, bust out your favorite feather duster and try not to put your apron on backwards, princess!
5. Hell of a headlight hack: With a little elbow grease and a little bit of toothpaste, you can get those weathered and weary looking headlights looking as clear as the day you bought that rad rig of yours. It’s a lot cheaper than the headlight cleaners at the part store. If you’re looking for an even easier way to make your dim lights shine, a little bug spray and and old tee shirt will make it happen!
6. Military tuck: That picture is about the worst thing in the world if you don’t already know what the military tuck is… If you need to tuck in your shirt and you don’t want to look like a complete slob, this method will help. You start by tucking in the front of your shirt. Now, if you’re an idiot sporting an Affliction shirt and a super tight fade, this is where you’ll stop. I’ve got news for you. That is the clothing equivalent of the ‘Joe Dirt’ mullet. Back to the military tuck… Fold the shirt along the seams at the side, and tuck in the rest of your shirt. This is a good way to make your clothes look like they fit without forking over the cash to have it tailored.
7. Rolling your sleeves: I don’t really know what this is all about either… If sleeves are in need of rolling, it’s going to save time to just cut them off. Unless you’ve got a runny nose or need to wipe the sweat off your brow, sleeves are pretty much worthless anyway!
8. Keeping the extension cord plugged in: If you’re too manly for your own good and have a habit of ripping the cords apart, tying them together may do the trick. If you’re more careful than that, and your power tools keep shutting off, you may have to deliver a black eye to your wise ass friends that think unplugging your tools is a good idea of a joke. (Who’s laughing now Randy??)
9. How to tie a tie: What the holy hell? How did this photo get in here? These tie tricks aren’t manly life hacks… If wearing a tie makes you manly, you probably deserve to be wearing the ‘Four in Hand’ pink tie to match your lace garder and your g-string!
10. The manliest flow chart in the history of ever: Does it move? Should it move? If it can’t be fixed with duct tape or WD-40, is it really worth fixing?