It used to be said that deep thoughts were things that make you go, “Hmmm.” Sometimes you’d get a little more excited and things would be like, “WHOA!” I don’t know if it’s the fact that everyone is much more excitable nowadays, or possibly hiding behind the keyboard has caused people to over accentuate all of their emotions, as the keyboard has nothing to imply depth of character. (Emoji’s don’t count!) Either way, the following WTF thoughts are sure to blow your mind and leave you wondering “W T F’n F is going on here?”
1. NSA’s Facial Recognition Technology: I don’t mean to incite any paranoia induced conspiracy theories or anything, but… Well. It’s definitely a possibility. Hope that comment doesn’t get me put on another stupid watchlist!
2. Artificial Intelligence Overlords: I can almost hear it now, all the Amish would be pleading with the Overlords, “What did we ever do to you?” Excuse me for my lack of translation to West Pennsylvania Dutch.
3. Bill Gates: 80 Billion Dollars? For real though? It’s almost like my hundredaire status doesn’t even matter in this equation.
4. Are You Sleeping: Well, technically, ‘NO’ is the only correct answer. But, at my house, “I was until you decided to be frickin annoying!” is also an acceptable reply.
5. Bigger Bone: This simple statistic is going to leave a great feeling of relief with a lot of you men out there! Look at you, you’re the cock of the walk. Hold your head high knowing you’re in the top 50 percentile!
6. Early Warning System: It seems you’re only running out of the tissues when you absolutely need them the most! This early warning system is actually quite brilliant!
7. Donated Blood: You know, I really don’t want to know where the blood I’ve donated has gone, or where it is currently. If my blood is pumping hard through someone else’s veins, then it was used as intended. Hopefully my donation was well received!
8. According To A Study: Yeah, people are going to use this one when they don’t have any statistical information or hard evidence to back up their BS story. It’s kind of like when someone starts a sentence with, “I’m not going to lie…” You can pretty much tell from the get go, that they’re full of it! And if they’re not, why would they feel it’s necessary to preface their comments with such a disclaimer?
9. Inefficient Way Of Saying Six: That most definitely is. This must come from people with insecurities causing them to overcompensate by attempting to sound intellectually superior. I don’t think it’s working for ’em!
10. The Less You Notice: The more pixels there are, the less pixels you notice. I’ve never really noticed. And that, you can assume, is precisely the purpose of the pixels!
11. Babysitters: Teenagers adulting so adults can do some teenager-ing… I’d say that’s some inception stuff, but I really don’t even know what that means.